–From The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron
I’ve never been much of one for New Year’s Resolutions. It just seems to me that if a change needs to happen, why wait? But the New Year can be a good time to reflect; to look back with gratitude for the blessings in life–the people and experiences that have made life richer. It’s also a good time to look back at the things that could have gone differently and maybe cut yourself and others some slack for those all too human moments.
I have been blessed to come to know many wonderful people this year. They are misfits, like myself…an eclectic bunch that inspire me, challenge me, encourage me and, in the words of one of those misfits, crack me open. It’s a good thing to be cracked open. Not an easy thing; a sometimes painful thing, but a necessary part of living life fully. I remember a quote — I think it is credited to singer/songwriter David Wilcox:
Love is not to fill our hearts
It is to
in opening them
we find that they are
Yes…to be cracked open is to learn to live life fully…
I spent three days in the Texas Hill Country over Christmas. It was a time of reflection and a time to look forward to what I want to do differently next year. A time to look at what I need to let go of and what I need to move towards.
I didn’t find all of the answers — that would be too easy, but I did find some clarity about some things.
–I want to live a creative life. I never thought I would ever hear myself say that, but this nurturing of the creative child in me that I didn’t even know existed until recently has been an incredible gift. I want to; no, I plan to do more of that in 2014 and beyond.
–I have always been a forgiving person; I don’t get my feelings hurt easily. As a whole, I am a person who is inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt. That’s problematic at times but given the alternative I choose to live my life that way. That said, there are people in my life; people that I care for deeply, towards whom I have been carrying hurt and resentment without intending to or even really being aware of it. Oh, there are legitimate reasons for that hurt but I realize that it is beyond time to let them go…to learn to trust again. I realize that I have been waiting for them to fail so that I could be right. That is neither fair nor loving nor the right thing to do. So, I will let go of those hurts, one day at a time and move forward. They are doing no one any good.
–There are many resentments that I hold on to that are really against myself. As I forgive others it is time to forgive me…to cut myself some slack for being human just like everyone else.
I realize that I will do all of this imperfectly; that I will stumble and fall, pick myself up, take steps forward and steps backward. I will cut myself slack about this too and trust that I am doing the best I can. I will focus on the journey; the twists and turns; the overcast, cloudy days and the clear, sunlit days. I will keep moving towards the light.
I am grateful for many things over this past year; for the people in my life who have helped to crack me open — I thank you.